ARTICLE - Assume the Best
What would happen if you ALWAYS assumed the best? It would mean giving people the benefit of the doubt no matter what prior circumstances may have taken place that would cause you to question their intentions. When you assume the best, you can actually create the space for the person to step into their best.
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of "The Four Agreements," writes that when you agree not to make assumptions about others, you are on a path to your own freedom. Freedom from the emotional baggage of the past, and freedom from the worry of a heavy heart. Can you feel how much lighter your spirit would be if you let go of trying to figure out what makes someone else tick?
Now I do believe that Don Miguel is accurate in the freedom of not making any assumptions, and I think it is a tall order for most humans. It happens so automatically and the bad news about that is, if you don't recognize it the assumptions start to pile up and you can lose sight of the truth completely.
Making a distinction between what you actually know, and what you have assumed is a practice in and of itself. It is a constant inquiry of noticing whether you have clear evidence of the truth or if you have created a story in your mind of what you want the truth to be.
Why bother with this inner work of assumptions? It keeps your inner space clean and clear adding honesty and strength to all your relationships. Is that worth the time to pay closer attention?
Working with your assumptions requires you to breathe, feel your feet on the ground, and carefully look at what you know and what you are making up about the situation.
To start practicing the work of busting assumptions, begin to notice what goes through your mind about others. When you enter the market or workplace, and greet people, what are your thoughts about the people you interact with? How much of what you are thinking is a fact and how much is an assumption? The results may surprise you!
Now here is a giant size "ASSUME THE BEST"challenge. Your teenager/husband/wife comes home smelling like he/she is drunk. Assume the best. Start by expecting that they acted responsibly in getting home, and there is a reasonable explanation. Breathe (you can never breathe enough) and calmly listen. What difference would that approach make in the outcome of your interaction?
Let's attract the very best out of each other.
