Tag Archives: inner beauty

GUEST ARTICLE - Staring in the Mirror, Yet I Couldn’t See

  By Admin | September 7, 2011 - 7:58 am |
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Enjoy this article by Tia who came "on air" to be coached about her inner beauty.

Staring in the Mirror, Yet I Couldn’t See
by Tia Silverthorn Bach
DepressionCookies.com

It seemed a simple instruction—look in the mirror and say, “You are a self-confident, graceful, creative and inspiring person.” Coach Betty laid out the guidelines for finding inner beauty. I was pumped. How hard could it be?

I steadied myself in front of the mirror, armed with the words and the will. “You are…” What is that, I thought, a new wrinkle? Crap, there’s another gray hair. I pulled at my skin for a few minutes. I looked tired, sad even. My eyes scanned down. More pounds, I wondered and swore my t-shirt fit better a month ago. 

“Mom, whatcha doing,” my sweet six-year-old asked, confused as to why I was pulling, squirming and grimacing.

What was I doing? I was supposed to be lifting myself up, and all I could focus on were my flaws. If one of my three beautiful daughters did that, I would point out every wonderful attribute, every blessing. Yet, I focused on all the things I tell my children not to . . . physical attributes, not inner beauty. 

My mother and I co-wrote a coming of age novel, Depression Cookies, showcasing two distinct points of view: teenage daughter and her mother. I wrote the teenage daughter’s point of view while my mom wrote the mother’s. Our hope… to open up the dialogue not only between mothers and daughters but all women to discuss what makes us special and unique, what binds us. 

Plus, I’m raising three daughters. It’s easy to tell them to love themselves, but we parents know kids do what they see, not what they are told. Same is true for writers, we are constantly told to show and not tell. It means nothing to tell my children, and other women, to love themselves if I can’t show them how I love myself. 

"[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are." Jim Henson

I believe whole-heartedly in inner beauty, but I need to practice what I preach . . . for myself, for my three children, for my friends and family. 

I started to soften in the mirror, gave my daughter a hug, and repeated, “You ARE a self-confident, graceful, creative and inspiring person.”

“Me, too, Mama,” my sweet daughter repeated. We were both standing in front of the mirror, and I finally started to see. I decided to give my children their own sayings so we could practice together. We’re committed to this exercise every day, until our images become clearer and the words easier to say. It’s a beginning, but a good one.

ARTICLE: Tapping into Your Inner Juice

  By Admin | August 31, 2011 - 12:00 pm |
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The vision of "Living an Organic and Orgasmic Life" is about the transformative natural healing that happens when you live your life going with the flow (organically) and squeezing the juice (orgasmically) from  every moment. 
 

When we tap into our pleasure centers and experience the contentment and peace that lives there, we have the potential to create such lofty visions as world peace. John Lennon imagined organic and orgasmic living.  I believe that deep down in our inner sanctums of truth, we want to "Make Love Not War." Call me an optimist…I surrender as charged. The fear that shields our minds and bodies from the essence of orgasmic living is only a mask.

My journey of discovery and finding organic and orgasmic living came from the mask of a chronic pain condition. My health, for the last 26 years, has been on a roller coaster of mild to severe pain with very few pain-free days overall. You would not have a clue from looking at me unless you notice the swelling on my hands, or witness me getting up and down off the floor. I have worn my mask well.

Do we always have to go through pain to get to the pleasure? Many experts believe that it is when we are uncomfortable, that we have the compelling reason to consider another way. Until we are willing to look at the truth of our pain, the pleasure will go unnoticed.

When I finally learned to surrender to pain, I was shocked to find the pleasure lives right there along side of it.  My initial experience finding the pleasure came through surrendering to the pain and seeking another way, besides pharmaceutical medication, to find relief.  It came during a sexual healing experience when I went from a 10 on the pain scale to a 2 after having numerous orgasms during sex.  My body moved easily and gracefully for about 4 hours after. It didn't last though. So I began to experiment with the fact that the orgasmic-ness lived inside of me. Could I recreate that sensation in my body outside of the bedroom?  And the answer is yes, and that is what has birthed this movement towards natural healing through inner beauty and sexuality.  

What does it take to explore this for yourself? 

  • You must get out of your head and into your body.  It is impossible to tap into your inner juice by thinking about it. It just doesn't work. For women, this is not always the easiest thing to do either. During sex, if you have that overactive mind (and you are not alone) let your mind drift to the sensation place. What do you feel on your skin? Walk outside and feel the air on your face, and just notice.
  • Your experience of inner sexuality is greatly enhanced when you feel your inner beauty. When a woman feels her inner beauty, an inner sexuality naturally flows out. This is not beauty from the outside only…this is an inner place of loving yourself that assures you that you are a beautiful being. Think of the last time you noticed something that was so beautiful it made you react with a deeply felt "Ah."  In that moment, you have tapped into inner juice. So find something that really touches you…a beautiful photo, painting, friends, family, flowers, trees, a sunset…it is everywhere.  And then look in your eyes, and find it there too.
  • Once you have experienced a moment of tapping into your inner juice,  feel it. Where is it located inside your body? I can guarantee that it is not in your head.  Some of my clients have found it in their hearts, others in their lower abdomen, and still others in their solar plexus. 

Enjoy the experience of exploring and learning about your inner magnificence that is the natural truth of who you are…

 

What other ways can you share for tapping into inner juice?

CBL#133 - Hot and Juicy Relationships with Toni De Marco

  By Admin | August 27, 2011 - 10:00 am | , ,
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"Relate>Love>Sex: How to have a Hot and Juicy Relationship Opening to the Love Within," is the book Toni De Marco wrote and she is Coach Betty's special guest on this episode. Communication, or lack of communication, is the biggest obstacle in relationships based on Toni's extensive research and international travels leading workshops on the topic.  As her book title states, healthy relationships always begin with turning to self-love. Her experience, research and teachings stress each individual taking 100% responsibility for their own happiness, fulfillment and even orgasms! Listen in to hear some of her secrets to finding the juice and rekindling the communication so that everybody gets what they want and need.  Click the "listen button" below to hear the whole interview, AND some surprising "WHOA BABY" results out of Stanford University on Who are the Happiest People.

Author, Dr. of Metaphysics, trainer and founder of the Wellness & Sexual Healing Centers, Toni De Marco has an extensive background in psychology, metaphysics, and health.  Her training includes having studied with many of the world's leading wellness and Tantra teachers and she, herself, has worked as a teacher, healer and counselor to both individuals and couples for over 30 years. Ms. De Marco was a top cover-girl in her 20's and acted in scores of television commercials and several films at the same time that she was studying many different holistic and healing technologies.  In her 30's Ms. De Marco wrote an acclaimed health and beauty book, The California Way to Natural Beauty, and also started relationship counseling.  In her 40's, Ms. De Marco segued to writing and producing video and television. In her most recent venture into the Video/DVD arena she created Tantric Partner Yoga, along with Tantra trainers, Robert Frey and Lori Grace Star, as a tool to help couples to develop more intimacy in their relationships through sensual partner-yoga. 

Don't miss her September 8th FREE 75 minute telecall on "5 Simple Secrets to a Hot and Juicy Relationship."  Email [email protected] to get all the details and a FREE ebook from Toni.  

Learn more about Toni's work at RelateLoveSex.com.

ARTICLE: The Good Gossip of Inner Beauty

  By Admin | August 24, 2011 - 9:37 am |
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“Gossip,” as defined by Wikipedia, is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It derives from the bedroom at the time of childbirth when the pregnant female’s relatives and neighbors (an all female event) would gather and chatter about others outside the birthing room.  The term is often used to refer to the spreading of dirt and excited details of scandals.  On the flip side, gossip can also be used to contribute to social bonding.  With the technology of the computer and internet, gossip can spread in an instant.

 

So what kind of messages about others do we want to spread like wildfire in our world today?  Aw come on, Coach Betty, it is so much fun to talk about other people and get all the juicy details of their struggles! Right?  I say wrong, because I am a part of creating a new positive consciousness, and the drama of negative gossip becomes an obstacle to the needed collaboration in solving the crisis level of problems today. If we are going to live, not just talk about, a new vision of a healthy and balanced planet for people on the planet, then we must STOP the addiction to “needing to know” the inner scum of other people’s life.  We are human, after all, and not a single one of us can claim perfection to my knowledge. So would you like your dirty laundry hanging in the air?

 

Women created the word for gossip, and now I want to invite and encourage women to foster the good gossip that is an actual path to inner beauty. I love playing with the positive sides of what words mean.  How can we turn “gossip” into that social bonding experience that creates good juice on the planet and spreads near and far with a click?

 

For starters:

 

  • Taken from an old saying my mother drummed into my head “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
  • When you share anything at all about another, evaluate where the information comes from.  Does it come from your own personal experience, another person who may or may not have gotten the facts straight, or from a media source.  Remember, it is not illegal to present false news. 
  • When you have spoken about someone who is not present and accounted for, how does it make you feel inside? Do you feel relaxed, calm and at peace or do you feel tense, tight and uneasy?

 

Inner beauty is felt as a peaceful relaxation, and your body knows it if you tune in.  Are you are spreading the good word, or contributing to more chaos and havoc among us? Spread the good word, and let’s take this opportunity to transform the world into what is possible!

 

If you resonating with this article, then YOU are a beautiful soul I want to know about so I can spread the good word about you.  Join my newsletter at CoachBettyLIVE.com by entering your name and email in the upper right hand corner of this page, and/or “Like” my fan page at www.facebook.com/coachbetty, and let me know more about you. Who knows, you may just end up on the radio with CoachBettyLIVE.

 

 

 

 

 

Caregiving from Inner Beauty and Sexuality

  By Admin | August 10, 2011 - 11:29 am |
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Have you always been a caregiver in your family?  Many women live this role of caregiver from a very young age.  That was certainly my story, and I have no blame or upset with my parents for how this played out in my life, however I am aware of the impact of my falling into this role since I was 3 years old.  Now, as I make my choices of how to BE the empowered woman I am, an acute awareness of these old roles is critical to my success.  If this resonates with you, then you will want to read on.  

 

Recent brain research from Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of “The Female Brain,” shows that the female brain’s hormones ready a woman to focus on herself when she enters into menopause.  This is a time when she has less interest in caregiving and more interest in new challenges and her own health and well-being.  However, so many women fall into caregiving automatically since it is what they have always known to do…that familiar groove. I, for one,  easily slip out of my life focus when a family member or close friend has a health issue or another type of emotional need. And now, at 56, I am feeling like I am done setting my life aside for others.  Wow…it does feels strange to write it.  Uncomfortable as it may feel, I am ready to align with the nature of my brain. If not now, when?

 

Women are capable of becoming more beautiful, sensual, and lusciously juicy beings as they get older.  When an older woman exudes self-love, you can see her inside out beauty throughout her face and entire body.  More than 2,000 fitness experts named 66-year old actress Helen Mirren “Body of the Year.”  Helen has tapped into a sustainable inner beauty and sexuality that comes from the wisdom of age, and alignment with the true nature of a woman…beautiful, sensual and orgasmic. It is this powerful feminine energy that gets lost when women continuously fall into caregiving.

 

“The loss of soul connection, loss of connection to our femininity, may be the real cause of our anguished condition” - Marion Woodman

 

The difference in the way men and women provide caregiving help, as reported by the National Center for Caregiving, is quite fascinating.  Women take time off work and stay home to provide time-consuming care to disabled friends and family while men respond to loved one’s needs for support by delaying retirement, in part to shoulder the financial burden associated with long-term care.  Higher levels of depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges are common in women who fall into these caregiving roles.  The Center’s studies show that women who provide more than 36 hours of care per week dramatically increase the likelihood of these health challenges.

 

The cost of this phenomenon to our world is a big one as women deplete themselves, and lose connection with their inner beauty and sexuality. We have stretched, depressed, and impatient women instead of upbeat, lively and beaming beauties. Mother Earth has been stretched, depressed and impatient waiting for women, like me, to turn this trend around.

 

What do women need to do to stay tuned into their inner beauty and sexuality, keep their hearts open to care and love, and not fall into the caregiver trap time and time again? Here are a few ideas:

 

*Before you jump to the needs of another - PAUSE and ask “what is a way to handle this without turning my life upside down?” Be responsible for yourself, and take the lead on this discussion with your loved ones…don’t leave it for others to advise you on what will work.  You are the only one who knows. How can you make this a healthy experience? 

 

*Rest.  It may not come easy when there are so many things to get done like dishes and laundry and kids and, and, and.  Letting go and working with “good enough” will allow you to stop and lay your body down (AND THAT IS WHAT I MEAN BY RESTING).  There is no substitute for a relaxed and prone body. At least for 60 minutes on the days you are extending yourself to others, and 30 minutes no matter what your day looks like.  Put it on the “to do” list.

 

*Practice the art of self-love by looking in your eyes every morning in the mirror and saying “I love you, I really really do.”  If it feels silly…fake it until you actually begin to feel it.  

 

*Spend 10 minutes a day in meditation - outside in the fresh air, if at all possible.

 

These are things you can do right now.  Don’t wait until tomorrow, or next week or next month when your family or friend is feeling better.  If you deplete yourself, then you can’t BE there for you or anybody else.

 

Need support?  Email me for a complimentary strategy session! You deserve it!

 

"It is hard to let your personality flourish when you are pointlessly paralyzed by insecurities about your physique. Character and personality are much more important and ultimately win out. For time passes and youthful beauty with it." -Hellen Mirren

CBL#129 - Changing the Way the World Thinks about Beauty

  By Admin | August 2, 2011 - 8:19 am | ,
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If Beauty is not just what we look like, then what exactly is it?

What is your best expression of beauty?  In an ongoing commitment to help women rediscover their inner beauty and sexuality so they fall in love with themselves every time they look in the mirror, Coach Betty interviews Cynthia DeSoto who is a pioneer in her unique exploration of defining beauty.  On this episode, she shares her ground breaking research for the last 7 years surveying expressions of beauty from over 7500 beauty industry leaders.  Cynthia's 3 dimensional path to true beauty has three aspects:  BE true to your best self, CREATE the experience of beauty, and GIVE to the greater good.  Do you feel the radical nature of this path?  Listen to the entire show below.

CoachBettyLIVE and Cynthia DeSoto - click here

Cynthia DeSoto has spent the past 20 years working in the professional beauty industry both with Aveda Corporation and as owner of Caruh Salon Spa in Seattle, WA.  It is her soulful search for true meaning of beauty that brings her to this pinnacle in her career and the launch of her book "Changing the way the world thinks about Beauty."

After years of research and reflective study, Cynthia introduces The 7 Expressions of Beauty in her book as a framework to understand the universal truths about beauty and how to create beauty for yourselves and others. 

Passionate about people discovering their potential, Cynthia speaks to global audiences expanding the narrow definitions of beauty and elevating the role of the beauty professional to become leaders of personal transformation.

For more information about Cynthia and her book, go to www.anzuri.com.  

 

CBL#124 - The Beautiful Mind of Judy Stadt

  By Admin | June 25, 2011 - 2:10 pm | ,
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What does it mean to have a beautiful mind?  Judy Stadt chats with us about how she nourishes her life so at the ripe young age of 69, she is a semi-finalist in the "Beautiful Minds" award sponsored by the National Center for Creative Aging and Martek Biosciences.  The award looks at the following 4 dimensions of brain health:  nourishment, mental engagement, physical activity, and socially connected.  Judy is blessed with the positive energy to overcome a diagnosis of "you will never walk again" to wearing high heels and dancing at her son's wedding a year later.  Listen to the whole show below to find out how she did it. 

Judy Stadt is an entertainer extraordinaire appearing in over a dozen films and 80 stage performances.  She knew she was born to entertain at 5 years old.  She delivers her own weekly radio show "The Lunch and Judy Show"  on PWRN which is a variety of music, conversation and plenty of laughs. Of course, her varied background - or the fact that audiences have dubbed her the American Judi Dench - might have something to do with her celebrity demeanor, too.  A quick look at her resume reveals that she wrote some of those 80 plays she appeared in; produced illustrations and greeting cards for her company, JudyStadt Graphics; designed fashion jewelry for JStadt Jewelry (found at high-end retailers like Saks Fifth Avenue) and clothing for the now-retired Judith and Charles boutiques in New York.  She is even a licensed real-estate sales representative.  Throw in a handful of awards and skills in jazz-singing, character-voicing, puppeteering, ballroom- and tap-dancing, and you've got a regular Renaissance woman.

She has some insightful words about how you can have a beautiful mind too.

 

Click the "Listen" button to hear Beautiful Judy Stadt.