GUEST ARTICLE - Why Bother with Beauty?
By Dee Mason
Beauty is a tricky concept, and it really is in the eye of the beholder. Not only is it completely subjective, but it is also a product of how we view ourselves internally. A person with confidence, poise, and a sense of self, is often far more attractive than a person who is traditionally beautiful, but emotionally or mentally vacant.??Then again, what is beauty? Is beauty merely something that is aesthetically pleasing, or is it an inner light that causes people to want to be near a person? These are not easy questions to answer, so it is common to find ourselves asking - why should any of us make an effort to be beautiful?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the primary definition of beauty is “the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit”. However, this definition of beauty is often confused with the second most often utilized definition of beauty, “a beautiful person or thing; especially: a beautiful woman”, and therein lies the problem. With the two definitions of beauty so commonly conflated, with one acknowledging the important of a beautiful internal life, and one all but negating the importance of humanity in beauty, it is difficult to know how to achieve the type of beauty that will be recognized by the outside world. The world of entertainment would have us believe that the second definition is of far more importance than the first. Reality shows like the “Next Top Model” series, or “Make Me A Supermodel”, or the “X-Factor”, that look for the total (external) package, espouse and reward a beauty that is only skin deep. Very rarely are contestants on these shows viewed holistically. So again, we must ask ourselves, why make the time or the effort to be beautiful both internally and externally?
The answer to the above question is actually quite simple. Do it because it feels good. It feels good to buy the ingredients for a healthy meal, cook it, and then eat it. It feels good to go running in the morning before work, or in the evening as the sun is setting. It feels good to take that yoga, dance, writing, music, or art course. It feels good to continually make improvements to one’s own body and mind in little ways every day. Keep in mind, improvements do not mean Botox injections, surgeries, or other augmentations. Improvements are those activities or practices that help a person continue to grow in both their mental and physical control. When a person eats a healthy meal, takes a class they enjoy, or participates in a sport or group activity, they are feeding a part of themselves that is instantly recognizable to anyone who meets them. That sense of self, the little voice that says, “Yes. I would like to do this activity or work for my own health and enjoyment”, is highly attractive to other people. It speaks to a self-knowledge and sense of worth that many people lack.
Though it may sound cliché, inner beauty really can trump outer beauty.
Though mainstream media would have us all believe otherwise, average looks, a sense of self, and genuine kindness, are far more lasting qualities than any icy-hot external beauty that will most assuredly fade with time. In a slightly maudlin personal example of this, a student of mine once told me about a set of twins he knew in high school. Both girls were pretty, but one had a stunning body to go with her face, and the other was wheelchair bound due to a spinal injury during birth. My student and his best friend saw the young women at a party their senior year, and played Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who would get to hang out with which sister. My student “won”, and spent the rest of the evening, and the next week or so, with the sister who could walk. Much to his dismay, the young woman was not particularly bright, and had a decided mean streak that he found off-putting. After they parted company, she immediately hooked up with another young man, and my student noticed that she pretty much floated from young man to young man for the rest of their senior year. The young woman in the wheelchair, the sister with “lesser” conventional external beauty, was extremely intelligent, had a great sense of humor, and 15 years later, is still married to my student’s best friend, they have two children, and a successful online share dealing business. While this story is a rather sledgehammer example of inner beauty versus outer beauty, it is also a clear example of the importance of developing ourselves inside and out.
So, why take the time to develop beauty in the “wholistic” sense of the word? It feels good. You owe it to yourself to be the best that you can be. Finally, other people will see those qualities in you. We are relational beings and we will always respond positively to positive energy. If you feel great about who you are, if you put time and energy into creating and finding beauty (the first definition) inside and out, you will attract like-minded people. At the end of the day, being surrounding by people who believe in you, and who believe in themselves, is just about the most beautiful thing one can experience.
Thank you so for this reminder of what is truly beauty/beautiful ! Just what I wanted to hear today !!! I especially like the end where you speak to being around people who believe in you and in themselves which is about as wonderful a life as anyone can receive !!! So cheers to another person(Dee Mason, author) who believes in herself, others and the spirit of beauty !
d:6CC30FA8-645D-4F2E-8276-22BC4A72789D !
Thank you Julia! Yes, cheers to all who believe in themselves and have the courage to find their true beautiful self…like YOU!