Monthly Archives: October 2011

CBL#142 - Inner Beauty Miracles with Bernie Siegel

  By Admin | October 29, 2011 - 4:37 pm | ,
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"Healing is built into our bodies" - Bernie Siegel, MD

Dr. Bernie Siegel was my inspiring guest this week emphasizing the need to love ourselves, love our kids and love our world as a path to healing. He suggested to "live an authentic life," hang mottos to live by all over your house to encourage you daily to live from your heart. He has many miraculous stories to share, including his own marriage success of 57 years raising 5 children and numerous pets. It makes me happy to know that Bernie Siegel has left his imprint of love and compassion on the health care system. To listen to the entire interview, click the button below.

For many, Dr. Bernard Siegel—or Bernie, as he prefers to be called—needs no introduction. He has touched many lives all over the Planet. In 1978, he reached a national and then international audience when he began talking about patient empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. As a physician who has cared for and counseled innumerable people whose mortality has been threatened by illness, Bernie embraces a philosophy of living and dying that stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our Society grapples with today. In May 2011, Bernie was honored by the Watkins Review of London, England, as one of the Top 20 Spiritually Influential Living People on the Planet. He continues to break new ground in the field of healing, supporting changes in medical education to “humanize” medical practice.

Bernie was born in Brooklyn, NY, and attended Colgate University and Cornell University Medical College. He graduated with honors and holds membership in two scholastic honor societies, Phi Beta Kappa and Alpha Omega Alpha. He trained to become a surgeon at Yale New Haven Hospital, West Haven Veteran’s Hospital and the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. In 1989, Bernie retired from Yale as an Assistant Clinical Professor of General and Pediatric Surgery to speak to patients, their families and caregivers.

In his latest book, his 12th, published in September 2011, entitled A BOOK OF MIRACLES—Inspiring True Stories of Healing, Gratitude, and Love, Bernie is described in the Foreword written by Deepak Chopra who tells us “Bernie Siegel began his writing career twenty-five years ago, and from the outset he didn’t shy away from miracles. The title of his first book—LOVE, MEDICINE & MIRACLES (1986)—flaunted his disagreement with mainstream medicine. An MD who advised more love as a path to healing would have been in enough trouble. Opening the possibility of miracles was grounds for dismissal. In his new book, Bernie reaffirms his original beliefs, and with a lifetime’s wisdom and experience, he trusts in miracles more than ever.”

Bernie’s writings in the 12 books he has published so far reflect his passion to reach people struggling with all of life’s challenges—not just the physical ones—so that each person can live life fully with the understanding that, as Bernie reminds us, “We only have today.” Believing that we are all here to love one another, Bernie has crafted eternal truths and the timeless wisdom of the ages into his reflections on the true stories of his patients in much of his work. But he has also produced wonderful resources for everyone like 365 Prescriptions for the Soul (Daily Messages of Inspiration, Hope, and Love), and 101 Exercises for the Soul (A Divine Workout Plan for Body, Mind, and Spirit). Bernie’s books also include those like Love, Magic & Mudpies, a great resource for parents and delightful, loving stories like Buddy’s Candle to help children of all ages cope with the loss of a loved one, be it a pet or parent. Reflecting on his work so far, Bernie quotes Woody Allen who once said, “If I had one wish it would be to be somebody else.” Bernie’s wish was to be a few inches taller, and can say now that he is a few inches taller because his work has been such a growth experience.

In 1978, nearly a decade before retirement, Bernie launched ECaP—Exceptional Cancer Patients, in which he and his wife and co-worker, Bobbie, remain active today. ECaP is a therapeutic approach Bernie calls Carefrontation that helps patients interpret their drawings, dreams and images to express their feelings about the healing process. The physical, spiritual, and psychological benefits that emerge strengthen the immune system, a direct response to the power of the Mind-Body Connection about which Bernie has written and spoken extensively. He is currently working on other books with the goal of empowering patients and teaching survival behavior to enhance immune system competency. Bernie believes that in the next decade, the roles of consciousness, spirituality, non-local healing, body memory, and heart energy will all be explored more intensively as scientific subjects.

All along the way, Bernie’s wife, Barbara H. Siegel—or Bobbie—has been a mainstay at workshops on helping patients interpret their drawings and especially, with a talent for very funny one-liners, at workshops on the healing power of humor. Bobbie, a graduate of Oswego State Teachers College with a BS in Early Childhood Education, credits her academic work as the preparation she needed to educate and train Bernie. On his part, Bernie does say that her guidance has helped him become the person he is today. Bobbie and Bernie raised five children together and now, as then, live in a home full of children’s things (for their eight grandchildren), pets, and especially love.

Read Bernie’s regular blog posts on his website where you will also find his books, articles, and CDs:  https://www.berniesiegelmd.com.

ARTICLE - Embracing the Miracle of Your Human-Ness

  By Admin | October 26, 2011 - 11:30 am |
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I have adopted a practice to embrace my human-ness. After I feel like I have “messed up” or “didn’t say the right thing,” I find a mirror and look right in my eyes. “I love you, I really really do,” said WITH feeling. My body knows the place of self-hatred, and it knows the place of self-love. It is a fine line between the two, and we have a choice in every minute of every day to tip the balance to self-love.
 
Do you suffer from perfectionism? 
 
According to psychologist and perfectionism researcher, Hamachek D.E., there are types: normal and neurotic. Normal or healthy perfectionism finds a person feeling a deep sense of pleasure from the tedious effort of working towards “perfect.” And then there are the neurotic or unhealthy perfectionists who never feel satisfied and strain compulsively toward impossible goals. These people often measure their own self worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment.
 
So it ain’t all bad. The pleasure one derives from striving to make something better until filled up with pride and an expression of who you are is what I call “Living an Organic and Orgasmic Life.” However, it is imperative to notice if you are struggling and tense while trying to perfect your recipe, article, parenting, job, project, etc., you are fighting and resisting your own human-ness.
 
How do you know if you suffer from perfectionism?
 
• Are you afraid of making mistakes?
• Do you get impatient with others when they make a mistake?
• If you fail an assignment at work or school, do you feel like a failure?
• How long does it haunt you when you make a faux pas (like using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner or putting your foot in your mouth)?
• How do you feel when you read these questions?
 
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for all of your other relationships. If you are hard on ourselves, then you will in turn be hard on others. It is inevitable? If we are unable to nurture our inner most beings, then our lives will reflect this deficiency in some way. Embracing your own human-ness is the doorway to seeing the miracle of who you are at your essence.
 
Dr. Bernie Siegel writes in his new book on miracles, “Our body loves us, but it needs to know we love our lives in order for it to do all it can to help us survive. The change in body energy activated by the love alters our internal chemistry and makes a difference. In many cases, this kind of miracle is damn hard work. But when you are willing to do the work, and live in your heart, magic can happen.”
 
There are many ways to approach “the work” Bernie mentions, and they all begin with awareness. And to become aware, you need to PAUSE from the pace of life.  LIFT yourself into the moment by noticing:
 
Lighting in the room
Interior of your belly
Feeling in your heart
Taste in your mouth
 
“You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled, then something has been lost.”- Martha Graham
 
 
 
 

FINDING THE FUNNY - Granny’s Sex Story

  By Admin | October 24, 2011 - 10:14 am |
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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
 
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
 
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex was surely asking for trouble.
 
"Oh, no, my dear," replied Granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
 
She paused to wipe away a tear, and said, "He'd still be alive if that frickin' ice cream truck hadn't come along."

ARTICLE - The Impact of Disconnected Beauty

  By Admin | October 19, 2011 - 2:33 pm |
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A good laugh at the insanity of how we define and design our marriages is surely in order. It’s not as funny as it should be though because so many people are affected by the enormous amount of emotional suffering.  Women give up on men, and men give up on women after failed attempts at relating, and both are left feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. Why do we keep hitting our heads against the wall with this marriage stuff?  Instead of continuing to do the same thing expecting a different outcome, let’s take a deeper look at the aspect of a woman’s inner beauty or disconnection to it that creates disharmony in relationships. 
 
What we need to know about women is that they are very disconnected to their inner beauty and sexuality which makes them feel inadequate and unhappy overall in their lives, and especially in relationships with men. A shocking 80% of women do not have a good body image, and 97% do not like something about their bodies. Below is an excerpt from an indepth study of college-age students on women’s body image published in “The Qualitative Report” in June, 2009. 
 
-Beyond an awareness of their bodies, our participants learned a particular set of attitudes regarding women’s bodies, and not one participant was currently satisfied with her body as it was. Moreover, our female participants all thought, to varying degrees, that a “better body” (one closer to the cultural standard) would make them happier and/or more successful. In our written interviews we asked all of the male and female participants the following question: “Honestly, if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?” All of the female participants listed a body part, their weight, or their body image. In a follow-up question asking why, the following responses were given: envy other women, to gain confidence, to get boys, to get better clothes, due to self-consciousness, currently feels unattractive or otherwise dissatisfied with appearance, and as a result of cultural influence.-
 
Adding insult to injury, Americans alone spend over 200 billion dollars each year on beauty products and services without an ounce of difference in how content or satisfied women feel in their lives. This same amount of money would be enough to feed, clothe, educate, and provide health care for every child in the world. (Worldwatch Institute) How happy would women AND men be if that were a reality?!?
 
A resulting dynamic of unhappy women in our relationships is a little startling. Men are often the receivers of the rath of unhappy women. In countless Jerry Springer shows, a disgruntled wife or girlfriend is allowed to use her spouse or boyfriend as a punching bag, unleashing as much anger as is physically possible without any response whatsoever from the men. Sometimes the abuse is not so overtly physical, but statements of blame like “I am done with men.,” “He is so clueless!,” or “What a piece of work he is!”
 
Men need our guidance, love and understanding to navigate the waters of our emotions, especially with our body images.
 
 
Call to action…DABS everyday!
 
Deep breath
Act from love
Be kind
Smile alot :)
 

FINDING THE FUNNY - Men and Directions!

  By Admin | October 17, 2011 - 10:00 am |
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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
 
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
 
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
 
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
 
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And you know men won't ask for directions."
 
 

CBL#140 - Self-Love as a Path to Inner Beauty

  By Admin | October 15, 2011 - 10:33 am | ,
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Did you know that the Dictionary.com definition of Self-Love includes conceit, vanity and narcissism? It is a no wonder women are getting Fs in Self-Love, and why Christine Arylo has co-founded the Mean Girls Reform School. Christine says it like it is about how women feel like they are Falling Behind, living up to False Ideals, and Failing miserably at being a super-woman…lots of Fs.  If you are ready to claim Self-Love, she has a plan and will show you how with fun, creativity, and passion. She has helped over 500 people successfully navigate a 40 day fear cleanse at FearCleanse.com. Listen to the interview, and some pretty shocking WHOA Babies about how women feel about their bodies by clicking the "Listen" button below. 

A self-admitted, but recovering, achievement junkie and doing addict, Christine is an inspirational catalyst who writes and speaks about the  struggles and possibilities that this generation of woman — today’s 21st century woman — faces in getting the love and happiness she works so hard to find. 

 
The popular author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love Christine is affectionately known as the “Queen of Self-Love.” A title earned due to her relentless commitment to teaching and inspiring girls and women from around the world to really, truly fall madly in love with themselves. 
 
After leaving her six-figure corporate career behind, Christine has spent the last 5 years dedicated to making self-love a tangible reality for all girls and women. She is the creator of Madly in Love with ME™ , an international self-love movement that includes an official  self-love holiday on Februrary 13th — put it on your calendar! She is the co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School™, a virtual school and community that has helped over 10,000 women transform their self-sabotaging voices into self-loving ones. 
 
Christine loves to speak publicly to groups of women and girls. She has been a frequent guest on ABC, CBS, FOX and E! Entertainment TV, and she speaks often on college campuses, at retreat and spa resorts, and at women’s conferences around the country. When not online teaching or on the mic talking, she is hanging out with her 2nd best friend – her partner Noah – because as Christine says, ‘Every woman must be her own best friend first.’ 
 
Get your FREE self-love kit at Madlyinlovewithme.com.
 

 

ARTICLE - PAUSE for Pleasure and Inner Beauty

  By Admin | October 14, 2011 - 11:40 am |
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The system, “5 Ps to Peace, Passion, and Pleasure,” is designed for women to uncover their inner beauty. This kind of beauty is lasting and true no matter what kind of hair day you may be having, or how old you feel. This is important because women are disconnected to feeling good on the inside…wow, it really breaks my heart to write this AND I know that it is true. We have evidence of it everywhere with eating disorders, plastic surgeries, and the fast growing market of anti-aging products and services. Doesn’t it seem odd that it is inevitable to get older and yet we fight it as if it is a horrible fate? Especially women, and I believe it is because they are disconnected with their inner beauty so when the skin ages and wrinkles set it, they feel old and used up. However, the disconnection is not only for older women. Unfortunately, it is most women. Ninety-seven percent of women do not like something about their bodies.

The 5 Ps system is a step by step process. The first step is PAUSE, followed by Ponder, Plan, Prospect, and Pop. This article is focused on pausing because it is the hardest and most crucial step. If you do not pause, there is no time to ponder, the plan remains the same, prospecting feels like too much work, and popping is left for the corn in the microwave.
 
The reasons for the difficulty in woman’s ability to stop and focus on her  own self-care is being revealed with the brain science of the last two decades. Prior to the 1990s, all the studies in medicine were done on the male brain because a woman’s hormones would screw up the data. Even the pill was based on the male brain…now there is a scary thought! The corpus colosseum is the connector between the brain’s left and right hemispheres. In a woman’s brain, it is wider which makes it easier for her to take the kids to school, plan dinner tonight, prepare for the business meeting, and do her kegel exercises on the way.  Can you just feel how the brain is dancing around keeping her up in her head instead of in her body? It does not take a rocket scientist to know that peace, passion, and pleasure is felt in the body…not thought about in the head. I am here to tell you that you can not think your way to peace, passion, and pleasure.
 
I am also here to tell you it is much simpler than you think. The most convenient and least expensive method rendering the best results are to take 30 seconds at least 3 times a day to stop. Yes, I am asking for 1-1/2 minutes of your time to feel and apply a strategy with the acronym BEST. It is the BEST strategy for pausing, and here is how it breaks down.
 
B is to Breathe deeply - down into your belly
E is to Embrace Your Humanness-look into your eyes if possible
S is to Smile - let it turn into a laugh if you are feeling it
T is to Think - YOU are a beautiful soul
 
I said it was simple, but it’s not always easy. Practice everyday for 24 days. This will take one and a half minutes of your day. 
 
This movement towards more feminine energy and power in the world is happening. Let’s make sure it is a peaceful and loving feminine energy. The only way for that to happen is for women to learn to love themselves again, and feel their beautiful soul.
 
Ah, go on, take 30 seconds right now!