A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay.
They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year.
At the end of the year, the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back on the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
The English Language
There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, and neither pine nor apple in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
If writer's write, how come fingers don't fing
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught
If the vegetarian eats vegtables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat
Why do people recite at a play, and yet play at a recital
Park on driveways and drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a lanaguage where
a house can burn up as it burns down
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
English was invented by people not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race
Which of course isn't a race at all
That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.
NO WONDER WORDS CAN MESS WITH OUR MINDS!!
With the new year upon us, change is in the air for Coach Betty.
I am traveling to the Phoenix area for the winter to restore my body so that I can better contribute to my local and global community through live talks, writing, coaching, internet radio/TV, and volunteering. It all begins with taking care of the Self.
On my way to Phoenix, I want to share this beautiful "Good Morning" I experienced in Genoa, NV.
I am also currently compiling material for a new ebook/book on "The Wisdom of Your Body: the 3 Ps to Peace, Passion, and Pleasure." If you are interested in contributing to the book while receiving 10-1/2 hour phone coaching sessions for $200. That's $20/session with the agreement I can use the notes (anonymously) for the book. Grab your chance…email me email@example.com. Deadline is January 31st, 2013.
Beginning February 1st, you will find a whole new array of articles, jokes, and radio podcasts to enjoy right here.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.:Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Clause at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have sex. I've got nothing left to believe in!"